…It’s a simple equation, really. Of course, you won’t get anywhere if you won’t live up with a goal. Expectations. This is actually why people are driven to wake up everyday and go to either work or their favorite vacation spot. This is why just sitting around doing nothing and not caring whether or not the world cares for you has somewhat an inappropriate connotation. People are driven to act, to see results, to see what’s in store for them in the future. If nothing’s happening, we begin to ask. We wonder. Worse, we get depressed.
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We have roles to play in our lives. The world is a stage, so they say. We have acts to fulfill. Add reality to it and we have a complex mix of roles to perform. Sometimes not at all related to each other, interrelated most of the times. And like any stage play, there has to be a start and an end. We dig into the story while we’re at it, we live in it. And how we take it in depends on our personality, how we’ve made it through other roles we played in the past. One thing’s for sure, though. After one ending comes another chapter. That’s what’s good about reality. No story ends. One is just a chapter after another. Until, of course, one takes his last dying breath. Then that’s it.
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I believe a good movie’s foundation is good character buildup. The balancing of a good plot and a good portrayal of the hero(es) in the story. Most movies are remembered because of the faces of the characters you’ve kept in your mind as reference to whatever things you’ve learned in the film. The story just comes second. (But of course, take away a good story, and it’s crap altogether.)
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So like someone who watches a movie, you always wonder how these characters would go on or go through the problems they were situated in the story. Based on how the characters are built up, you tend to draw conclusions. Ah, this character has definitely fallen in love with this other character. Before the credits roll, they might end up with each other after all. Ah, this character is a bitch. She’d end up losing everything. Ah, this character is the main character’s best friend. She might help her get through all the protagonist’s tribulations somehow. And this character- she’s suspiscious, always in the shadows of the hero. I wonder on what side he’d end up in. This character is an ass, he’ll get beaten definitely in the end. Who’s character is that? Nah, he’d be dead soon anyway. So on and so forth.
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So if life’s an ongoing story, one might ask what role I have in someone else’s play everyday. Definitely one might say, I’m this to her, this to that person, this to my friend, this to my work partner, this to my mom and my dad, this to my brothers and sisters. But my question is: Are you happy with this role?
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Definitely there’s one question that would bring either a sigh of contentment or a bigger sigh of something else.
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Only a few people consider themselves happy. They’d probably throw you a smile and say "My life’s just right, I won’t change anything in it if I can." Even those people who we say have perfect lives won’t find a good answer to that question. People are born with the skill to dream, to want to see the future, and to want that the future would be brighter than this present. And I should say, even if it’s something that could be learn, acceptance is a skill not all people find very easy to achieve in the face of failure. The harder you fall, the more difficult it is to stand.
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I have no answer to everyone’s question on what is the secret to happiness and the meaning of life. I think that’s one answer God ought to answer when we get to heaven. Or that’s an answer only each one of us could figure out on our own. Problem is, some people get so focused on finding an answer they dive deep into frustrations everyday upon realizing that the answer is miles away to reach.
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But in reality, we already got pieces of the answer. Little pieces of a great puzzle, I’d say. So little that we tend to ignore them. Or we choose to ignore them because we think we have a much bigger score to settle, bigger worries to solve. Much worse, we discard these small joys, thinking that they are pieces so little they’re not worth your time.
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Then these little pieces you’d hope and pray to at least fill you once a big failure to take on a big role successfully finally comes.
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Again, I don’t have the answer to the secret, but lately I did find a piece of the puzzle that really got me amazed, it’s still making me smile everyday. Want to hear about it?
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I’m sure you’ve already heard these things from a song, a greeting card, an open diary, a self-help book of some sort:
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"Be yourself."
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"Don’t worry, be happy."
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Indeed, being bombarded with so much expectations is a pain in the ass the we have to live through everyday. Expectations give us direction. But to overdo it is something that we always tend to fall into. We get so focused on achieving it in the fastest way possible that we tend to forget the little happy details that we give this world. And we always think that after achieving halfway to the goal, there’s no time to turn back. Who says there’s no turning back? And who says turning back would rid you of your way forward?
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This is what makes me happy now. To cherish what I have as I always think what I have and what comes to me everyday already fills me. I have roles that I play very well, and I plan on keeping it that way. And I do have plans, but my priority is now more than the future. Besides, how can a happy future be without cherishing the daily joys to which it should be built?
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I am a father to my child, and I choose to play a good father for as long as I can. The same goes to being a husband to my loving wife. A thoughtful and sincere friend to my friends. A professional to those who I consider my colleagues. I’d love people who not only accepts me, but are happy doing so as how I do and I am to myself, I’d love to keep them for as long as I can. I’d love to keep how we deal with each other for as long as this brings smiles to those concerned. People might say I have potentials, that I can do better, that I should take big steps to achieve them. But as long as they don’t stick those big expectations up to my nose, then it’s okay, I’m okay, we’re okay. I have those big dreams in mind, but I do have small sure steps in mind, too. I love you who always throw a smile at me for no reason. I love you who thinks not of me as a basket full of big possibilities, but a handful of laughs and good times today.
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On the contrary, if anyone tells me to stop being who I am, or to change it to something less or excessively more, I take it as a ridiculous idea- it’s like telling me to be not what I am.
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And it’s no one-sided deal. We play a certain role for others. I think happiness comes to those who care not about how their story would end relative to that role. I think it comes not from looking ahead, but cherishing whatever things come by playing this role. If a friend considers you as a gimmick buddy, or someone who you think makes both of you happy because of some non-essential reasons like coffee breaks, yosi breaks, gimikan, quick nightouts or simple going to the movies… and you both enjoy being so regardless of current boundaries, why ruin it by living up to what you or others expect you to be? If others say "Bagay kayo, ah" or "I think it would be lovely to see you intimately together" or "There’s something going on between both of you" and you let it affect how you are right now towards this friend, doesn’t it always end up to frustrations? Much worse, if you think this way, you ought to review what role you really want to assume. Ambiguity leads to questions not always answers. No one likes ambiguity. If you are clear that you are a friend, and going outbounds makes life for both of you quite uneasy, why even think of changing it?
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Expectations. Because you think you’d be happier if you go a level higher. I’d say there’s a bit of being selfish there. If doing things in line with what you think will make you happy in the end highly compromises what makes both of you happy now, isn’t that kinda selfish? It is, though I know that most of the times it couldn’t be helped.
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Being happy is an art- there are a trillion ways to achieve it. Being happy is not a piece of cake either. But one thing’s for sure:
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Being happy now is the easiest thing that anyone could achieve.
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Getting inspired now just for the sake of simple joys is the easiest thing to do.
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What you are now and what role you currently play is more essential to you, to everybody else, and to the world than what you can be. (What you can be cannot be without what you are now.)
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Small steps are much safer to take than quick big ones. Failure (and insomia, too!) comes to those who let themselves be conquered by worries.
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These nice usual ideas are things we usually ignore. It’s not a sad thing, actually. It’s fortunately reality that we can most certainly take control of.
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And it’s just a simple thought I came up with thanks to someone who’s been giving me back some inspiration to be my simple self. Thanks for telling me that people really did care when I was "not me", got worried at some point, and have been waiting for quite a while for me to "wake up" and smell the fresh air outside the dark halls where I had been recently. Knowing that you guys have really been around when I couldn’t see everybody else is much much appreciated, I must say.
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Cheers for the status quo! 
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This is based on a chat that I had with a friend, who lately was getting worried about ruining everything if she’d let herself fall for someone. Like the slowly coming out of the storm clouds this weekend, I hope you’d be able to see much much brighter days ahead through my suggestions. Glad to be your counselor… Cheer up, my friend! Let’s just find more reasons to laugh everyday and everything will be just fine!
